


The Gum That Ties Our Hearts Together

by ChamomileTeaPages



Series: Birthday Gifts! [3]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Bubblegum, Doofenshmirtz is obsessed with almond brittle, Doofenshmirtz likes candy, Getting together in a candy shop, Inators (Phineas and Ferb), M/M, POV Third Person, Perry loves Doofenshmirtz, candy shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChamomileTeaPages/pseuds/ChamomileTeaPages
Summary: After one of Doofenshmirtz's Inators goes wrong, Perry offers to make it up to him by going to a candy shop.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus, Mentions of Vanessa/Stacy/Candace
Series: Birthday Gifts! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062503
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	The Gum That Ties Our Hearts Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Uman_beeing_777](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uman_beeing_777/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, sibling of mine!

“Perry the Platypus!” Doofenshmirtz announces, holding a gumball between strong, spindly fingers. “Your arrival was completely unexpected! By unexpected, I mean  _ completely expected! _ You flew right into my bubblegum trap!”

Perry the Platypus struggles against the thick ropes of gum holding him to the wall, rendering his jetpack ineffective and his fur gummy. He’s in a bit of a….sticky situation. 

“You see, Perry the Platypus,” Doofenshmirtz says, standing on a chair, “my brother Roger, the mayor, refuses to do something about the gum situation in Danville! There’s gum  _ everywhere _ ! This morning, I stepped in three—yes, three, Perry the Platypus!—wads of sticky, disgusting gum.”

The chair wobbles underneath Doofenshmirtz, yet he pays no mind to it. 

“So,” he says, voice shaking from the wobbling of his chair, “I will use my Bubblegum-Inator to blow bubblegum into the faces of everyone in the Tri-State Area! Once they are stuck by the bubblegum, I will be appointed Mayor (because Roger won’t be able to see a thing and will, therefore, be exempt from mayorly duties) and I will take over the entirety of the Tri-State Area!”

Doofenshmirtz raises his hands villainously and…falls to the ground. 

Perry winces. His nemesis was thwarted by his own poor planning, as per usual for him. 

While his nemesis complains of his various aches and pains, Perry works to free himself from the trap. Luckily, the bubblegum did not rip out any of his fur (ouch!) or mess with his jetpack. As much as he loves him, Perry thinks he would actually kill Doofenshmirtz if he messed with his jetpack. 

Perry waits for Doofenshmirtz to get up with some trepidation. He doesn’t want his nemesis to be seriously  _ hurt _ , after all. He knows firsthand that landing wrong can cause some serious damage. 

Once he is fully standing, Perry launches himself from the mostly dried gum-wall and kicks his nemesis in the ribs. 

Doofenshmirtz wheezes out, “Wait, wait, wait a second! I need a second. I fell literally like ten seconds ago.” 

Perry hesitates for a minute. Doofenshmirtz puts his hands on his knees, breathes deeply, and then straightens. 

“I’m good now,” he says, throwing a punch towards Perry. 

A small, traitorous smile makes its home on Perry’s face as he slaps Doofenshmirtz with his tail. 

Doofenshmirtz leaps back, and runs for the Bubblegum-Inator. Perry chases after him speedily. 

Doofenshmirtz throws the gumball he was holding behind his back, and Perry narrowly avoids slipping on it. It rolls away underneath an armchair with a piteous sounding crack.

Doofenshmirtz slams his face into the Bubblegum Inator, the force sending him onto his back on the floor. 

“Ouch!” he exclaims, rubbing his reddened nose painfully. 

Panting heavily, he leaps up from the floor to hit the button to fire the Inator. Perry smacks his hand out of the way. 

Doofenshmirtz grabs a conveniently placed broom and hits Perry over the top of the head with it. 

Perry’s eyes water, and Doofenshmirtz smacks the button with a triumphant “ _ ha _ !”

Perry launches himself at the Inator, sending its beam from City Hall to what appears to be his host family’s house (sorry, Candace.)

He leaps from the Inator and punches Doofenshmirtz, who falls to the ground. 

“Were you always this heavy?” Doofenshmirtz asks, wiggling his body experimentally. Perry tightens his hold on his nemesis. If he notices that their faces are really close together, well, he’ll take that secret to the grave. 

Doofenshmirtz exhales slowly, a blush on his face, and Perry can feel his warm breath on his face. 

Doofenshmirtz slowly moves a hand to a broom…

And then he smacks Perry with it. 

Perry almost yelps, getting back on his feet. He’ll be distracted no longer. 

Doofenshmirtz, with unusual agility, spins up off the ground with a motion that even Perry’s impressed with. He grabs the broom, but Perry grabs the head and twists it off. 

Unfortunately for Perry, the broom head hits the button and it fires. He can hear the sounds of complaining in the streets below and the squishy sound of people bumping into each other, stuck together from the gum. 

Doofenshmirtz and Perry stand there, shock and mingled pride filling up their bodies. 

“You know, I can’t believe that worked,” Doofenshmirtz says, running towards the Inator and dropping the broom handle. It clatters solidly once it hits the floor. 

Perry chases after him, scooping up the broom handle and throwing it at the Inator. Along the way, Perry pulls Doofenshmirtz away from the Inator’s blast zone. If his nemesis were blown up, Perry doesn’t know what he would do. 

The Inator explodes, sending soot and charred, smoking pieces of gum everywhere. 

“Aw, man!” Doofenshmirtz exclaims dejectedly, wiping his sooty hands onto his labcoat, “that was  _ expensive.  _ Ah, well, curse you Perry the Platypus!”

Perry fingers the strap of his jetpack, somewhat lost in thought. Somehow, the dejected tone of his voice makes Perry feel almost regretful. (Though, if you were to ask Perry, he would chirr that he felt bad about the gum that was wasted. He’s a big fan of reduce, reuse, and recycle, and he absolutely abhorrent wastefulness. Honestly, Doofenshmirtz using up parts from old Inators instead of buying new ones makes Perry have to admit a grudging love for the guy.) 

“Perry the Platypus…?” 

Perry pulls out a small orange sketchpad and a blue pen from his fedora, and scribbles _ I can’t believe I’m writing this, but, do you want to go to the candy store with me? You seemed weirdly upset about this Inator and I got money, so… _

He then passes the note to Doofenshmirtz. Doofenshmirtz then reads the note quickly and smiles slightly.

“Well I am angry at you for smashing my Inator...eh, whatever. You’ve done it enough times that I don’t really care anymore. And besides, I like candy! You know, back in Drusselstein, we  _ never  _ had candy. Well, we did, if you consider hardened milk and sugar candy. Are we gonna go now?”

Perry nods, and motions towards his jetpack. 

“You want me to ride on top of you?”   
  


Perry shakes his head and motions to Doofenshmirtz. 

“You want to ride on me?”

Perry nods, and straps his jetpack onto Doofenshmirtz.

“Let’s go to Sugarshore!” Doofenshmirtz shouts as they jetpack away from DEI. “It’s apparently really good!”

Perry nods, and directs them towards Sugarshore. He’s passed by the building enough times to know where it is by heart, and, besides. It’s  _ massive _ .

Doofenshmirtz lands with an oomph, scraping his finger in the process on a tree. Doofenshmirtz wraps it up with a bandaid that he keeps in his pocket. 

As they walk inside, Doofenshmirtz puts the scraps of the bandaid back in his pocket. 

“You know,” he says, “we should hold hands. So that we, y’know, don’t get lost.” 

Perry raises an eyebrow and grasps Doofenshmirtz’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. The two of them walk the aisles of Sugarshore, and Perry suddenly feels that he could almost skip.  _ He’s holding hands with his nemesis, whom he adores _ . What’s not to love? 

“I’m gonna get some almond brittle,” Doofenshmirtz says, turning to Perry. 

Unfortunately, he walks into someone. 

“Hey, watch where you’re go—Oh, Vanessa!” Doofenshmirtz exclaims. 

“Oh, hey, dad,” she says. 

“Why are you here?”   
  
“Oh, Candace wanted some gummy ropes and Stacy wanted some weird kind of sour candy from Japan and I wanted some chocolate. Why are  _ you  _ here?”   
  


“Oh, Perry the Platypus offered to take me.”

“So like on a date?” Vanessa raises her eyebrows. 

Doofenshmirtz blushes again. “No clue, to be honest. But even if it was, I...I wouldn’t mind.”

Perry takes another orange note and his pen and writes,  _ Sure, like on a date. _

Doofenshmirtz frowns thoughtfully, worrying the edge of his lips between his teeth. 

“Well, I hope I’m not being presumptuous, but...do you want to be my boyfriend or something? I mean, if you want to, I really wouldn’t want to pressure you—”

Perry pulls Doofenshmirtz down by the front of his labcoat and kisses him deeply. He nods, chirring loudly. 

Vanessa claps quietly, and hands her father some almond brittle with pieces of almonds, shuffling her package of chocolate in her hands. 

“I gotta get back to my girlfriends,” Vanessa says. “Have fun being boyfriend-nemesises or whatever.”

“Boyfriend-nemesises, huh?” Doofenshmirtz says, squatting down to be at Perry’s eye level. “I think I can live with that.” 

Perry chirrs fondly, and gently puts a hand on Doofenshmirtz’s angular cheek. He thinks, vaguely, that the way Doofenshmirtz melts under his touch is the most adorable thing ever. 

He thinks he can live with this. Definitely. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Don't tell me Doof WOULDN'T do this


End file.
